Legacy: The Circle of Love and Life

Ana Backhaus

This story reflects my profound relationship with my mother, a confrontation with an unexpected reality, and a journey of self-discovery. It unfolded after COVID delayed the diagnosis of an aggressive cancer that took her life too soon.

It is a convergence of past and present, where uncertainty overshadowed my role as a daughter. I wanted to help, yet felt lost in how to support her. In a post-pandemic world, my mom’s diagnosis arrived, and none of us knew how to navigate this altered reality. I searched for light, but shadows surrounded me.

Photographing my mom became my escape—a way to feel close while creating enough distance to remain strong. It helped me seek perspective amid pain and keep her close to my heart. The act of photographing was therapeutic, offering an illusion of purpose and a distraction from my deep sense of helplessness.

As her caregiver, my mom tried to shield everyone from her pain, wanting my dad to remain her main support for as long as she could endure it. This fragile sense of normality became her refuge.

This narrative speaks to the fleeting nature of time. It is about holding onto hope while confronting the reality of her absence. Losing her felt like losing a part of myself.

Through my camera, I navigated grief in a world that kept moving forward while mine fell apart. I fought to find light in the darkness and, in doing so, discovered a new resilience. This is a journey of loss and renewal—one that taught me how to live in ways I never knew before, rediscovering a new version of myself, rooted in love, and guided back toward the light.

It is a circle—the Circle of Love and Life.

A Self Portrait of Me and My Mother$800

My Mother Feeling Unwell, Resting in the Bedroom that Used to be Mine$800

At the Beginning of her Battle Against Cancer$800

My Mother’s Tears - Fear of the Unknown$800

A Self-Portrait with my Parents on their 50th Wedding Anniversary$800

Grandmother and my Son Playing Together$800

Reflection of my Mom, Reflecting on her Journey$800

Choosing a Wig While Holding a Photograph of us Together$800

Looking at Her Wig Before Trying it On$800

Getting Dressed and Visibly Frail$800

My Mom’s Hand with her Wedding Ring while She was Resting$800

The Empty Window She Looked Out of in Search of Hope$800

Reality Struck Me like a Car Hitting Me$800

The Tears of Grief $800

My Shattered Life$800

Losing Myself$800

I’m on Pause but the World Carries On$800

When the Light Takes its Own Space$800

The Next Generation$800

The Legacy$800

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